Tweet
New Diet...
Yesterday I was at Pet Smart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal dog, Rolf, and was in
the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her, No, I don't have a dog.
I am starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets.
Then you simply take one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, that I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
Pet Smart won't let me shop there anymore!
the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her, No, I don't have a dog.
I am starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets.
Then you simply take one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, that I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
Pet Smart won't let me shop there anymore!
Comment